This is going to be a rather negative post because there are something I need to write down before I start derailing. These are my true thoughts and feelings and people don’t like what I say, then there is a good reason why we are not friends (now or if ever at all).
I am sure some of you have noticed that I have left Oath FC. This was due to being treated horribly by someone. I had feeling ignored within the FC and although some members were unaware, it was totally the case. However, the way they went about things is what has annoyed me. When someone fails communicate with others in a polite manner, that’s when you know things are never going to end well. Just one persons attitude can make or break a group. So it was only a matter of time before enough is enough.
This is a problem that I know is unavoidable. Not everyone can get along with everyone. Its just a part of life that well have to deal with. Its just that some people will handle the situations better than others. I for one always dwell on how I handle situations. There is so much I wish I had said at the time when I was backed into a corner, but the words had left me and I felt emotionally attacked that I just had to get out. It also doesn’t help that I always feel that no one really understands me enough to listen to what I have to say. Instead, I feel attacked and pushed out the door. I never get a chance to say my side of the story because no one seems to care how I feel about something. When I do say something, it gets flipped and I waste my time trying to say something that falls on deaf ears.
With the recent situation, it was easier for me to leave. Even more so as one particular person clearly didn’t want me there as they their attitude showed it. With everyone else’s silence, it was clear that they all felt the same. So I did.
This is something that had been brought up as to why I was ignored for a month and it has got me thinking…
Am I a hardcore player??
Well I went Omega savage raids whenever I could to prove to myself that I could clear them. However, I wasn’t a member of a static group and I was the making PF’s to ensure that I was able to get a place, as finding parties that needed a caster was difficult. Does that still make me a hardcore player? I have never kicked a PT member for not doing enough damage or for constantly making mistakes during the most easiest mechanics. Instead, I was happy for the practice to master the raid as much as I could. So I don’t think that makes me a hardcore player.
I may have gone many times to Savage Raids, on the weekend and if I could go during a weekday, I did. However, I don’t see how that makes me a hardcore player. In my opinion, a hardcore player is someone who is a member of a static group, who goes to Savage raids every day and clears the savage level within a week. I am certainly not that person, as it took me like over 2 months to clear a savage level. I wasn’t constantly going and I am sure that I was never a member of a static group..
So I don’t see myself as a hardcore player. I don’t really know how I would define what kind of player I am, as I am not a casual player (someone who doesn’t do savage raids..) and I am not a hardcore player… so I am just somewhere in the middle LOL.
Ever since, it has been nice to still find people who are willing to talk to me, who are willing to still go places with me in the game. At least it shows who my true friends are. People who are kind enough to still go places with me are worth more of my time.
I have been more active in a discord channel with other Eng speakers players. I have been friends with them for a while and its been fun. We might not play together in game as much as we did, but to still talk is great.
I know it should come as no surprise that most of the FC members don’t talk to me after I left, which kind of hurts. I guess it shows that I never really made friends there… So it kind of proves I didn’t fit in either. Even with an FC that speak a common language or not, if there are clique-y groups, then those who find it hard to join in with the conversation are never going to be accepted. Especially in small FCs, even a group of 4 people out of an FC below 30 active members is enough to leave people out. Even less than that. I mean this in general, because in the FCs I have been in, if people are always off going to places together, then others are forgotten about. Some people never realise how that can effect other players. In one FC, I felt I wasn’t good enough to join them, as they only took me to Savage once everyone else had cleared it. In another FC, because people were playing with their friends, there wasn’t enough room for other players, so people were left out.
It might take me a while to find an FC where I feel welcome and go places with other players, but I won’t give up. I have made so many friends on Belias and I would hate to loose them. But if it all comes down to trying out playing else where, then I will give it a shot. That’s as a last resort though.
I am sorry for this kind of post. But since November, I have been struggling with a lot of things and now that one chapter of my journey in Eorzea is over, a new one can begin. There have been challenges and goals that I have set for myself that I really want to achieve. So I will do my best to not let one small group of people ruin how much fun this game is to actually play.
Here’s to the adventures in Shadowbringers~!